{"id":110215,"date":"2024-09-26T10:00:46","date_gmt":"2024-09-26T10:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uitac.com\/inthenewsblog\/?p=110215"},"modified":"2025-10-09T17:00:44","modified_gmt":"2025-10-09T17:00:44","slug":"sleep-divorces-and-sociology","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uitac.com\/inthenewsblog\/sleep-divorces-and-sociology\/","title":{"rendered":"A Sociological Awakening to Sleep Divorces"},"content":{"rendered":"

Award-winning actress and singer Bette Midler sat for <\/span>an interview<\/span><\/a> with Entertainment Tonight in 2024. Among other things, Midler shared the truncated secret to her almost 40-yearlong marriage: \u201cSeparate bedrooms. My husband snores.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Midler echoes the voices of other celebrities, such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Baz Luhrmann, Gillian Anderson, and Cameron Diaz, who are increasingly <\/span>speaking up<\/span><\/a> about their own \u201csleep divorces,\u201d or consistently sleeping separately from partners. In a December 2023 <\/span>Lipstick on the Rim<\/span><\/i><\/a> podcast episode, Diaz went so far as to say, <\/span>\u201cWe should normalize separate bedrooms.\u201d <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"AIn attuning ourselves to this A-list chorus, we might predictably ask: Which came first? Everyday couples sleeping apart or celebrities popularizing it? New data seems to suggest it\u2019s a bit of both. Whatever the case, <\/span>s<\/span>leep divorces have awakened our collective psyche. Case in point, a 2023 American Academy of Sleep Medicine <\/span>survey<\/span><\/a> found that 43 percent of millennials in a committed relationship sleep alone either \u201coccasionally\u201d or \u201cconsistently.\u201d Additionally, 33 percent of Generation Xers and 28 percent of Zers also \u201coccasionally\u201d or \u201cconsistently\u201d sleep away from their significant others.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sociologists have admittedly snoozed through some of the recent sleep divorce momentum. Sleep experts and marital therapists are more astute. As with Midler\u2019s marriage, sleep experts note the resounding reason for sleep divorces is <\/span>snoring<\/span><\/a>. Secondary <\/span>reasons<\/span><\/a> include children getting up at night, separate work schedules, and restlessness. The throughline here is that partners are consistently prioritizing quality sleep for themselves and each other. Could separate snore rooms actually be the ultimate love language?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Marital therapists are grappling with this <\/span>question<\/span><\/a>. Some note that sleeping apart leads to more purposeful and affective intimacy. Others suggest that separate beds are an incubator for avoidance. It seems the goodness or badness of sleep divorces also depends on the route taken. Marital therapists <\/span>observe<\/span><\/a> that couples who mutually explore and communicate their feelings are more likely to positively experience separate sleeping arrangements.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"AIn addition, defining a modern \u201csleep divorce\u201d can tricky. Some couples sleep separately one night a week, where the couch is bed #2. Others opt for completely separate bedrooms, where each partner\u2019s space embodies their own personalities, preferences, and needs. Multiple iterations exist between these poles. Antidotal <\/span>experiences<\/span><\/a> suggest that personal advocacy and communication are critical in explorations of this sleep divorce spectrum; and trial runs can precipitate a more permanent slide toward sleep independence. Most recently, the socially constructed gamut of modern sleep divorce was deftly explored in Nathan Hill\u2019s <\/span>marital fiction book<\/span><\/a> Wellness<\/span><\/i>. Here, spouses Jack and Elizabeth explore the emotion and pragmatics behind an occasional night on the sofa to separate primary bedrooms.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

While there is a recent cultural awakening to sleep divorces, separate sleeping arrangements have been around for a <\/span>long<\/span><\/a>, long time. In fact, couples slept separately as early as the Roman Empire. Historically, their popularity has waxed and waned depending on partners\u2019 interactions with law, culture, economics, and each other. There is a constructedness to the experience. Thus, while the practice is not new, the meaning of separate beds has changed significantly. In regard to family life, sleeping arrangements continue to speak volumes about our relationship roles, norms, values, choices, constraints, and priorities. Sleeping arrangements also illuminate social change.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Sociologically speaking, modern sleep divorces jive with the continued iterations and adaptions of <\/span>companionate<\/span><\/a> marriage, which became a cultural standard in the Industrial Revolution. As Western laws, markets, and culture moved away from a purely economic conceptualization of marital unions, this marriage emerged as an alternative. It was an experiment in the alchemy of economics, love, happiness, and (limited) independence. Skeptics said this was too much for marriage to bear; and attaching emotion to marriage would make the institution entirely too volatile. Companionate marriages were also distinctly bourgeois. Enter <\/span>Bridgerton<\/span><\/i>, Jane Austen, and <\/span>The Crown<\/span><\/i>. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In the late Victorian Era, <\/span>separate<\/span><\/a> beds were encouraged among the companionate bourgeoisie. After all, they had the space to spread out and marriage had lots to accomplish. Intimacy was confined to \u201cthe marital bed\u201d and primarily for the purposes of reproduction. Ironically, sleep divorces encouraged both procreation and marital chasteness. Separate beds were also deemed better for one\u2019s overall <\/span>health<\/span><\/a>, ultimately translating into better sexual and reproductive fitness. The emphasis on procreation also bolstered the economy and patriarchy where happiness for women was meant to be found inside the confines of marriage.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"ADespite wholesome visuals of couples sleeping <\/span>apart<\/span><\/a> in shows like <\/span>I Love Lucy<\/span><\/i>, separate beds fell out of vogue in the 1950s. This <\/span>cult of togetherness<\/span><\/a> era was fueled by galloping economic growth, distinctive and gendered divisions of household labor, and underscored emphasis of the nuclear family. The nuclear family simply <\/span>had<\/span><\/i> to work as both a function of the economy and its wellspring. Intimacy was a big puzzle piece. Women were encouraged to be sexually available to their hard-working, primary bread-winning husbands. This time around, sleeping together fueled economic growth and patriarchal underpinnings.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Our current sleep divorce inflection point is often described as Midler did: snoring management. But our sociological imaginations tell us there\u2019s a much larger story. Snoring might be the short answer, but behind the zzzs, couples are trying on and sizing up companionate marriage principles. Thus, sleep divorce is essentially a constellation of emotional steadfastness, independence, gender roles, cultural ques, negotiation, economics, and much more. Lucky for us, ongoing normalization and conversations illuminate what sleep divorce truly is: the experience of society stored inside us.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Kirk is a guest blogger at <\/span><\/span>UITAC Publishing<\/span><\/span><\/a>. UITAC\u2019s mission is to provide high-quality, affordable, and socially responsible online course materials.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Images used in this blog:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \u201cPeople, Man, Woman image<\/a>\u201d by StockSnap<\/a> is licensed on Pixabay<\/a>. This image has not been altered.<\/li>\n
  2. \u201cWoman Lying on Bed with a Man<\/a>\u201d by Kampus Production<\/a> is licensed on Pexels<\/a>. This image has not been altered.<\/li>\n
  3. \u201cBeds in Hotel Room<\/a>\u201d by Aleksandra Platonova<\/a> is licensed on Pexels<\/a>. This image has not been altered.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Award-winning actress and singer Bette Midler sat for an interview with Entertainment Tonight in 2024. Among other things, Midler shared the truncated secret to her almost 40-yearlong marriage: \u201cSeparate bedrooms. My husband snores.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Midler echoes the voices of other celebrities, such as Gwyneth Paltrow, Baz Luhrmann, Gillian Anderson, and Cameron Diaz, who are increasingly speaking […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":807,"featured_media":110313,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[55,78,189,80,70],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-110215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-culture","category-marriage-and-family","category-sexual-behavior-in-society","category-social-change-and-movements","category-social-interactions"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nA Sociological Awakening to Sleep Divorces - 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