Bereavement involves the loss of a loved one, prompting grief, a personal emotional response, while grieving is the process of adapting to this loss. Grief varies for everyone, influenced by personal factors with no “correct” way or timeline. Older adults frequently face bereavement, making it a significant concern. Societal expectations of “recovery” often misunderstand grief, which is a lasting transformation rather than a state of closure. Grief can resurface unexpectedly, indicating integration rather than eradication. Society should focus on supporting long-term adjustment to grief, rather than pushing for it to be “overcome,” by providing continuous support and open dialogue that acknowledges the unique experience of each individual.
Ways Grief Can be Experienced
Seniors experience several distinct types of grief, each with unique characteristics and challenges. Normal grief is the natural emotional response to loss. This type of grief is the most common form of grief regardless of age that most people will experience at some point in their lives. Another common form of grief is anticipatory grief. This type of grief involves sadness and worries experienced before an impending loss. It is commonly experienced as friends or partners age, become ill, or due to one’s own aging or mortality. Complicated grief is persistent, intense, prolonged mourning that does not diminish over time. Elderly individuals experience complicated grief often and are faced with prolonged yearning, acceptance struggles, loss of purpose, and serious mental and physical health issues. Lastly, disenfranchised grief occurs when a loss is not acknowledged, validated, or socially supported by others, which is common among older adults. Manifestations in seniors include struggling alone, isolation, and depression occurs when a loss is not acknowledged, validated, or socially supported by others, which is common among older adults.
The complex variety of grief shows that the experience in older adults is multifaceted and a deeply personal challenge. A person’s grief is distinctively shaped by the accumulation of life experiences and losses. Older individuals often face a complex web of grief, triggered not just by the death of loved ones but also by the erosion of physical health, loss of independence, and shifting dynamics of social roles that come with aging.
The passing of a spouse, a pivotal figure in their life, invariably precipitates a profound disruption. It plunges them into an abyss of loneliness and requires a restructuring of daily routines, responsibilities, and emotional supports. This adjustment period is laden with the challenge of filling the void left by a lifelong companion and navigating the complexities of life alone. Furthermore, as individuals advance in years, they may encounter a series of losses in quick succession, leading to what is often termed “bereavement overload.” This phenomenon occurs when the emotional reserves become depleted due to repeated grieving, making each subsequent loss even more difficult to process. The sheer volume of grief can lead to emotional exhaustion, exacerbating feelings of isolation and detachment from social networks.
Beyond the loss of personal relationships, older adults frequently grapple with the gradual decline of their physical abilities. This loss can be particularly distressing as it often equates to a reduction in autonomy, creating a dependency that challenges their sense of self-reliance. The transition to retirement or moving into senior living facilities further impacts their self-identity. These significant life changes can trigger feelings of displacement and a re-evaluation of their place in the world, further complicating the grieving process. For older adults, grief often involves identity confusion as their sense of self is tied to the deceased. Support should help them rebuild their identity and find new engagement in life. Effective intervention must address both emotional and existential dimensions of grief, fostering acceptance and a renewed sense of purpose.
Theoretical Lense of Grief in Later Life
Several perspectives illuminate the complex experience of grief, each offering a unique lens through which to understand the process of loss. The most common or wide-spread theory is John Bowlby’s attachment theory. This theory suggests that grief is fundamentally an instinctive reaction rooted in the disruption of significant emotional bonds. Bowlby identified the four phases of mourning: numbing, yearning and searching, disorganization, and reorganization, which describe the typical progression of these responses. In contrast, task-oriented models emphasize a proactive and action-oriented approach to grief. This model suggests four “tasks” individuals must engage in to process loss. The four tasks include accepting the reality of the loss, processing the pain, adjusting to an environment without the deceased, and emotionally relocating the deceased while moving on with life. Individuals begin accepting the reality of the loss, processing the pain, adjusting to an environment without the deceased, and emotionally relocating the deceased while moving on with life.
Newer approaches dive into the complexities of the grieving process. For example, the dual process model highlights the dynamic and fluctuating nature of grief. This model suggests that individuals navigate grief by oscillating between two distinct sets of processes: loss-oriented coping (processing the emotional pain and sorrow) and restoration-oriented coping (challenges of daily life). Finally, continuing bonds theory, challenges the traditional notion of “getting over” grief. This theory proposes that the bonds with the deceased are not severed but rather transformed. Individuals continue to maintain connections with their loved ones through memories, internal dialogues, and spiritual beliefs. This perspective emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and validating these ongoing bonds and understanding grief as a lifelong process.
Helping Older Adults Navigating Loss
Navigating these emotional challenges often requires a multifaceted approach grounded in self-compassion, active engagement, and a robust network of support. At the individual level, strategies for coping with loss can encompass allowing oneself to fully experience grief without judgment, practicing consistent self-care, and pursuing meaningful activities that provide a sense of purpose and joy. Additionally, honoring memories of loved ones through rituals, sharing stories, or creating tangible reminders can provide comfort and a sense of continued connection. Establishing and maintaining daily routines can create a sense of stability and normalcy amidst emotional upheaval, while exploring new activities and interests can introduce fresh purpose and a sense of forward momentum.
A crucial element in navigating loss is a strong support system. This system typically includes a blend of informal networks and formal services. Informal networks consist of family members, friends, and community members. These individuals offer emotional support, practical assistance, and a listening ear, while providing a sense of belonging and understanding during difficult times. Formal services, such as counseling, support groups, and specialized programs designed for older adults offer professional guidance and resources. Healthcare professionals, including doctors, nurses, and therapists, play a pivotal role in the early detection of grief-related challenges and in providing appropriate referrals to mental health services or support groups.
Acknowledging the Full Spectrum
Given the cumulative and ongoing nature of grief in aging, a long-term, proactive, and integrated approach to support is vital. This includes ongoing access to mental health services, community resources, and social support networks. Regular check-ins with healthcare providers can help identify and address emerging issues, and educational programs can equip older adults and their families with coping strategies and resources. By fostering resilience and providing comprehensive support, communities can empower older adults to navigate loss with dignity and grace, fostering well-being and a sense of continued connection.
By acknowledging the full spectrum of losses experienced by older adults — including often disenfranchised non-death losses — and by fostering environments that validate their unique grief journeys, society can significantly improve the well-being and resilience of its aging population. Ultimately, supporting older adults through bereavement is not merely a matter of individual care but a societal imperative to enhance quality of life in an increasingly aging world.
Podvorec is a guest blogger at UITAC Publishing. UITAC’s mission is to provide high-quality, affordable, and socially responsible online course materials.
Images used in this blog:
- “Man in Black Jacket Standing in Front of Grave” by Brett Sayles on Pexels licensed under Creative Commons Zero (CC0) license.
- “Person Holding a Stress Ball” by Matthias Zomer on Pexels licensed under Creative Commons Zero (CC0) license.
- “People Sitting on Chair Inside Room” by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels licensed under Creative Commons Zero (CC0) license
